Fairy Tail Yonkoma Collection
by ChedderChez
Summary: Everyday Fairy Tail occurrences with a comedic twist — yonkoma style.
1. Set 1

**A/N: **So I've decided to try for the comedy route. Enjoy!

This story came into being thanks to rubix22's work, which inspired me to start my own yonkoma-styled collection, for the Toaru Majutsu no Index fandom. Check it out. Link to both his profile page and story can be found on my own profile page.

A few (no more than one per chapter) scenes were made in tribute to rubix's story, and as a disclaimer, I do not own those ideas.

I don't own Fairy Tail.

* * *

**Breaking the Fourth Wall**

"What is that?" Levy asked, pointing to a book Gajeel was holding.

"It's a book on the German language."

"Oh, you're going to learn a new language?" Levy's eyes were practically glowing.

"Yeah, I'm visiting real world Germany next month."

"…"

"Um, word of advice, Gajeel…"

"?"

"Don't go breaking the fourth wall of your own free will!"

* * *

**JFK**

"Anyways, if you need any help, feel free to ask," Levy offered.

"Heh. Don't underestimate me and my ability to adopt a new language."

The next day, he stood atop the Fairy Tail guild stage and made one declaration:

"_Ich bin ein Berliner!"_

Everybody blinked.

"Hey Levy, what does that mean?"

"I am a jelly doughnut."

* * *

**Going Out**

The usual argument was going on between Natsu and Gray.

"Shut up," yelled Erza. "If you're going to do that, take it outside."

Natsu tilted his head. "Take it outside…?"

"It means to continue our fight outdoors, flame brain."

_Oh. So 'going outside' means to fight?_

The next day:

"Lucy, let's go out."

* * *

**Ready for Anything**

"G- Go out? But that's too sudden!"

"A true man is prepared for attacks at any moment!" Elfman exclaimed.

"Indeed," Erza agreed.

"?"

"S- So, where do we go?" Lucy asked as she and Natsu stepped out the guild doors.

Natsu replied by igniting his hands.

"Eh?" Lucy's eyes widened. "Eeehh!? Waaait!"

* * *

**Scar**

It was time for the Fairy Tail regular checkup. The female mages gathered and undressed in a private room.

"Levy, where did you get that scar?" Erza asked.

"It was from Gajeel…" she replied.

"Oh," said Erza, thinking back to the time Phantom Lord waged war with Fairy Tail.

"…Yesterday night," Levy finished with a blush.

* * *

**Scar II**

"Hey, Lucy, where did you get that scar?" Erza asked.

"From Natsu."

"Ah," Erza said, nodding her head up and down as if to signal that she completely understood the situation. "It's just like Natsu to be a little aggressive."

"I'll say. I also have bruises on my arms, legs, and back."

Erza drew her arms back in astonishment. "I- Intense."

"…?"

* * *

**Irony**

Happy, Natsu, and Gajeel stood together in the guild hall.

"The most ironic situation, huh?" Natsu wondered.

"Maybe when Mirajane said she'd love Lisanna no matter what, but fled in terror when Lisanna used a cockroach Take-Over."

"No. It's definitely when Levy says something along the lines of 'Please cease to mystify your confidants by utilizing incomprehensible terminology,'" Gajeel said.

"Huh?"

"Exactly."

It was at that moment Cana rushed up to them, exclaiming:

"Everybody's drunk!"

"And we have a winner!" Happy pronounced.

* * *

**A/N: **Pretty short, but hey, I don't have unlimited ideas. That said, suggestions for scenarios would be greatly appreciated. Also, since I don't have an unlimited supply of ideas, updates will be slow.

P.S. I am aware of what _Ich bin ein Berliner _means. Please, no pedantry.


	2. Set 2

**A/N: **First of all, thank you all who reviewed! It's greatly appreciated.

I do not own Fairy Tail.

This chapter was basically laid out for the most part before Chapter 1 was uploaded. Don't expect quick updates in the future (Might happen, but probably not on a regular basis).

* Godwin's Law edited to avoid any unintended offense or hard feelings (and to make it more in-universe).

And without further ado, I present Set 2.

* * *

**Enhanced Hearing**

Flare Corona's hair wrapped around both of Lucy's arms and legs, and well as her mouth. A few meter's away, a few strands also poked out of the ground near Asuka.

Lucy was in a pinch.

"Hahaha! I want to see you suffer even more, blondie!"

_Damnit! What can I do in this situation? _Lucy thought.

Then, the heroic voice resounded. "I heard that...!"

It was Natsu.

_He noticed Asuka. Nice one, Natsu!_

"Gray you just said Lucy looked hot with those bruises and torn clothes, didn't you?"

* * *

**Perspiration**

Natsu and Lisanna were walking outside in the snow.

"Are you cold?" Natsu asked a shivering Lisanna.

Natsu pulled the girl closer, then proceeded to share his scarf.

Slowly and cautiously, Lisanna drew in the scarf so that it covered just beneath her nose.

"…"

"…"

"No one's going to sweat in the middle of winter; you don't have to worry about the smell."

* * *

**Trouble With Being Animal-Friendly**

Natsu and Lisanna continued their stroll.

"Lisanna, are there usually birds out this time of the year?"

"No, they should have migrated to warmer climates."

"But there's one right now," Natsu said as a bird perched on top of Lisanna's head. "I think it's taken a liking to you."

"I guess it's natural. I'm always friendly to animals, too."

*splat*

"…"

"…"

"I think you have something other than body odor to worry about now."

* * *

**Godwin's Law**

"The longer a discussion drags on, the higher the possibility becomes of someone making a comparison concerning Zeref or his creations? How ridiculous," Samuel said.

"It's not ridiculous. The reason it's a _law _is because it's the truth," Levy countered.

"Then it has been inaccurately named."

"The _law _has been proven many times before."

"Then shall we have a little bet?" Samuel challenged.

"Don't bother. The chances of you winning the bet are the same as the chances Zeref would have given up his position of power."

"You seem fairly confident—" Samuel stopped mid-sentence.

"Oh, I see what you did there."

* * *

**Because I'm a Genius**

"But your forced example is invalid." Samuel continued.

"How so? You shouldn't try to bluff you're way out of a complete loss."

"According to my calculations, the idea of Godwin's law only applies to _online _discussions."

"…"

"How the heck do you calculate something like that?"

* * *

**Hypocrisy**

"The point is, you have not won the bet."

"Technically, this discussion is taking place on the Internet at this current moment," Levy informed

"I don't even need my calculations to say that you are officially insane."

"Shall we ask our audience, then?"

"Oi, who's breaking the fourth wall now?"

* * *

**Hypocorism**

Happy approached Alzack.

"Alzack, why do you call Bisca by a weird name?"

"It's a pet name. People who are close to each other tend to use such things."

Happy approached Levy.

"What's a pet name?"

"I guess it's sort of like a nickname."

"Levy, why do you call Lucy 'Lu-chan?'" Happy asked.

"It's a nickname."

"I didn't know you swung that way."

"I said it's a nickname, not pet name!"

* * *

**Nickname**

"Happy, what are you doing?" Natsu asked.

Happy was sitting on top a table, with his hand underneath his chin.

"Thinking…"

"Do you think Lisanna and I are considered 'close?'" the cat continued.

"Well she practically raised you, right?"

"Then I have to come up with a nickname for her."

"Hm, how about 'bird nest?'" Natsu suggested.

Five minutes later, Lisanna's voice rang out:

"Naatsuuu!"

* * *

**It's Just Ice**

A young Natsu and Gray were exhausted battling it out on the riverside.

"We're not going to get anywhere like this," Gray said. "How about we settle this a different way?"

"What do you suggest?"

"The first one to get a rock to float on water is the winner."

"That's not possible!"

Gray just shrugged. Ignoring Natsu, he chucked a solid object into the river.

It remained floating.

"Woah! Is that a new species of rock?"

* * *

**A/N: **And that concludes the second set.

Enjoyed it? Review!


	3. Set 3

**A/N: **Thanks to all the reviewers, as well as all the other readers.

I don't own Fairy Tail.

And without further ado:

* * *

**When Nature Calls**

The R-system construction site had no bathroom facilities.

"So we don't get enough food, we're forced to work till we drop, and we can't even excrete waste in peace?" a young Erza Scarlet complained.

"Calm down. It's not that big of a deal," Simon replies.

"Yeah, just follow Jellal's example," Millianna says.

The blue haired boy was relieving himself in a corner, not paying a single heed to those around him.

Finally, he noticed the stares.

"What? I needed to go," he said simply.

* * *

**Obvious Lie**

"Is that Juvia?" Erza asked Gray, pointing to someone approaching from behind.

Gray turned around and saw the familiar blue-haired woman.

"Crap, Gotta run."

Gray started moving away, but Juvia gave chase.

"Wait! Juvia doesn't like Gray-sama anymore!" she shouted after him.

_Then why do you still add the –sama!?_

* * *

**Say What?**

Mirajane was speaking to Makarov.

"Eh? I'm required to go on a mission?" Mirajane asked to confirm the situation.

"That's right. The Magic Council is complaining that we're not making use of our S-Class mages."

"So it's finally my time to shine!"

Then Mirajane started her rant:

"…I mean, I've only ever been pushed to the side. All the battles I should have won ended up being a loss. When I do win, it's just an insignificant battle. If someone didn't know better, they'd say my only use is for the fan service. They probably even forgot—"

…

"Are you finally done?" Makarov asked.

"No, but could you repeat what you said just before?"

"You mean the fact that we're not making use of our S-Class mages?"

"Yeah, about that..."

…

"I'm an S-Class mage?"

* * *

**Always Bring Cookies**

Lucy sighed as she stood in front of the request board. It had been a while since her last mission, and she needed to pay her rent soon.

"Just choose one!" Natsu complained.

A fairly easy request with a high reward stood out to Lucy, but there was one problem: the target town was located miles away.

"Natsu, we're taking transportation," she said definitively.

"No way." Natsu flat out refused.

"I'll give you a cookie."

"Deal!"

* * *

**Rise of a New Species**

One thousand years ago, there was a fateful encounter between two creatures.

"May I know the name of thy nice body?" one of them asked.

"I am Vulcan Queen. And yours, mister muscular masochist?"

_Muscular Masochist…?_

"_Ahem. _I am Taurus," he said, taking a step forward. "Let's you and I…"

"Create an all new army of perverts!"

* * *

**He's Not Human**

"By the way, Laxus will be joining you," Makarov told Mirajane.

As if on cue, the lightning user appeared.

Makarov took out a roll of paper and continued.

"The details are on here. Your job is to put an end to an uprising against the King of Fiore. Enemy base is located on the western coast."

"That's pretty far away," Mirajane commented.

"Laxus, we're taking the railroad."

"No."

"What if I give you a—"

"Cookies don't work on me."

* * *

**On Second Thought…**

The train departed, leaving Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Erza and Happy behind.

"No way…" Lucy groaned. "The next train doesn't come for another hour."

"Don't worry. We can always take that." Natsu said, pointing behind them.

_I expected him to say 'Let's just walk.'_

Lucy turned around and was faced with a carriage drawn by a very moody-looking horse…

"We're walking."

* * *

**Don't Feel Like Walking**

"How do you reckon we get there, then?" Mirajane asked.

"Planning out a route is more in you're area of expertise," Laxus answered.

After a moment:

"I got it. I have a suggestion," she stated.

"I'm listening."

"Carry me the whole way there."

"Say that again and I'll leave you behind."

* * *

**Déjà Vu**

In order to reach their destination, Team Natsu had to travel through a forest.

They encountered an early problem in the form of a vulcan.

On spotting Lucy, the vulcan cried out:

"A woman!"

"Eep!" Lucy cringed.

She dodged, and the vulcan hit his head on a tree trunk, resulting in unconsciousness.

"You know, I wonder why those things remind me a certain someone."

Elsewhere, in the Celestial World, Taurus let out a sneeze.

* * *

**Make Use of What You Have**

"So you're not planning on walking the whole way there?"

Laxus snorted. "Who do you think I am?"

"Hm…you don't secretly possess a flying cat, do you?"

"That irrational way of thinking is unlike you, Mirajane," he answered.

"Then what do you plan on doing?"

"Fried will carry me."

_Exactly who's being irrational here?_

* * *

**Reverse Psychology**

"Juvia doesn't like Gray-sama," Juvia repeated after catching up.

_What's going on here? Is she not feeling well?_

"Juvia dislikes Gray-sama."

_She must be really sick. _

"Do you want me to bring you to a medical facility?" Gray asked.

"Juvia doesn't want to burden Gray-sama. Besides, Lyon-sama is stronger."

_The heck? No way am I losing to that guy!_

"Hold on, I'll get you to a hospital soon." Picking her up bridal-style, he rushed out of the guild.

Unknown to them, Fried saw the whole thing.

_I should try that with Laxus._

* * *

**What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You**

The true form of the Tower of Heaven was finally revealed after being struck by Etherion.

Jellal laughed evilly. "Give up already. There's no way you can win."

"Like hell I will," Natsu replied. "I'll take you down along with this tower and everything else that caused pain for Erza."

With that, Natsu took off a chunk of the lacrima and ate it. Power immediately flowed through his body.

Jellal donned a look of pure horror. "No way…he's actually able to eat Etherion?"

_Rather, he's actually stuffing that excretion-infused lacrima into his mouth?_

* * *

**A/N: **Good? Or was it a bunch of misses? Either way, review!

Anything can be a source of inspiration, whether it be a regular, serious, or random review!


	4. Set 4

**It's Gone**

"What's wrong, Lucy?" Gray asked the rather depressed mage.

"It's gone...Loke's is…gone…"

Her line was fragmented, but Gray basically understood the situation now.

"Just make another one," he said.

"It can't be replaced."

"Well, guess that true. Then, how about you use this as a substitute?"

"What do you mean…?" Lucy asked, looking up.

What she saw in Gray's arms was an infant-like object created from ice.

"I wasn't talking about a baby!"

* * *

**Juvia Knows**

"Wh- What is that?" Juvia asked.

The blue-haired woman approached Gray and Lucy upon seeing the two of them talking.

Gray, who was holding the ice infant, replied:

"Oh, it's a — "

"Wait! You don't have to say it, Juvia already knows."

"No, I don't think you do…"

"Lucy must have said 'stop' many times, but you didn't listen, right? You just continued—"

"Stop right there."

* * *

**She's Serious**

"Why isn't he making a sound?" Juvia asked.

She continued:

"Do you think he's sick?

"What should we do?"

"Oh no, he's not breathing."

"Get him to a hospital, quick!"

Gray and Lucy looked at each other.

_What should we do? She's serious._

* * *

**Dilemma**

"Gray-sama, are you upset at Juvia?"

"Do you want me to be?" Gray replied.

"No, Juvia doesn't want that."

"Then…"

"She shouldn't bring up the topic in the first place, right?"

"No I was going to say…"

The scene zoomed out, showing Juvia tightly embracing Gray.

"Let go of me!"

_Juvia doesn't want that either…_

* * *

**She's a Demon**

The distinct aroma of food cooking over a fire drifted in the air, causing the group's stomachs to growl.

"Hey, is it ready yet?"

"Are you starving?" Mirajane asked.

Natsu nodded vigorously.

"Good. Then you can wait longer."

* * *

**Truly a Demon**

"Okay, it's done," Mirajane announced.

"Alright!"

Everyone dug in.

"Wow, this is great," Gray commented.

"Yeah," Lucy agreed.

"What did you add in here, Mira?" Erza asked.

"Just a little bit of 'hunger,'" she said with a smile.

_Doesn't that mean you just wanted to see us suffer!?_

* * *

**Pointers **

Fried was showing off his magic to Samuel.

"Wow, so your ruins make use of hexadecimals as well?"

"Of course; numbers are equally as important as words."

A few meters away, Gray and Natsu were playing a game that Fried suggested.

"Agh…I give up!" Natsu shouted. "Fried, can you give me a few pointers for this?"

Samuel's ears perked up.

Fried ginned, "Sure, —"

"Aahh…" Samuel interrupted. "If you need help, just ask me."

"Eh? Okay, then," Natsu answered.

Samuel sighed in relief.

"_Tch, _party pooper," Fried muttered.

* * *

**They Mean the Same Thing**

"You got it now, Natsu?" Levy asked.

"Yeah, yeah; the prefix _'in-' _mean 'not,' right?"

"Great, then that concludes today's lesson."

Later that day, when all the guild members had left, Natsu wandered around inside the guild hall.

He came across something he never saw before. Attached to it was a sign:

"_Caution: Inflammable."_

_Inflammable means it's not flammable, right?_

The next day, Makarov stood stunned outside a burned down building.

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed! If so, review! (or don't)

The "Pointers" one might be confusing to some. Those who do understand are probably face-palming, and I don't blame them: I would be too. But hey, at least it doesn't end with Fried reciting the hexadecimal—I couldn't bring myself to do such a thing.

A little explanation is called for, I guess. But as I always like to say, Google it.

This is the last set for a while; this collection will be put on an indefinite hiatus. Fact that there were no reviews last chapter strengthened my decision: not going to continue something that readers have lost interest in.


End file.
